Mikes Thoughts

everything is walking

I read this nice blog post on a walk the author took. It kinda took me to just how basic it all is for me. How I don’t do cars or motos. From each day I just start I guess to stop. Living here is probably the best place for walking in Cambodia. Siem Reap has spent time and money to put in decent sidewalks. But really it’s the day for me. So I figured today is an easier day. I feel kinda frazzled with lack of decent sleep so I’ll go see the river and meet my friend for coffee and show and write here that stroll.

Domo Cafe and lots of words

We always seem to get together for hours and just talk the life. Domo is a bit different for us since the boundary between smokers and not seems less and it bothers both of us a bit to have smoking around. The expat crowd comes and goes but we outlasted them by some bit of time. It’s nice to have someone once a week to just meet at a different coffee shop.

I also thought a bit about the walking and how I always feel it brings so much each day. I never start with some path in mind but often I do know the coffee shop I wish to reach. Getting there is a combination of dirt roads, streets with nice sidewalks, and small and big markets. Walking in Siem Reap always takes all these things and gives them back on each step.

As we talked this story unfolded about a retired expat named Paul living here now. His story is the one that I fear with new people living here. He settled for a place kilometers out of town to the point of the Botanical Garden. That’s miles to be away from the town core areas and shopping, eating, doing things. This is not a good thing for him since he also has some health issues to manage. The final thing with him is he was ripped off by so-called friends. Now he’s stuck miles out of town at an apartment complex that barely meets any kind of needs but he signed a three month lease to get there. For him, he suffers with the distance daily and many of the basic things of life he has no one to help. It would be much easier to be living in town for him. Being able to reach a local market or regular supermarket for daily needs.

I’ve thought on that scene many times here living with my wife. How what we do or don’t do touches all that in a few ways. The difference is I know how to do things here and I have her to just make the whole life thing easier. Just like Paul though, the whole “life with” thing suffers with us. I don’t like living with this and finding myself out of town and without the things I love.

On my short walk over to Heritage Walk mall/foodcourt I thought through how people come with the desire to simply get away with no real idea what they are going toward. Cambodia is sufficiently different that I think it takes some “burn in” time to get basics figured out. How to find places to eat, shop, and find time to enjoy all of it. Life here is not a thing just slides in to the empty slot posed by where you left from. It takes a little bit of time and effort. The language is not the issue nor is it the friendliness or help that Khmer people are willing and actually happy to do. I think its embodied by,

same same but different

That whole thing. For Paul from the moment he landed and negotiated the apartment with his so called friends he was at a disadvantage. They ripped him off and then the whole daily life thing did too. He needed this other thing. This time to adjust and figure things out. I sat and watched other tourists milling around Starbucks awhile while I had a small hot latte to relax and consider things. Perhaps as my wife said to overthink them.

Then a tuktuk ride home. To a place I have issues with acknowledging too. I understand though how the things happen here. I have all the pieces and have done this whole thing so many times before. Even without my wife, life for me here is really not challenging or difficult. It just takes time to get the things going.

So everything is walking for me in the end. Short walks where I muddle through things as diverse as how I journal and write and what I see with people. I always feel lucky and blessed to have my wife and I feel deeply bad about Paul not understanding basic life here and then being so far from town that getting the basic life things is not a walk away.

Now I sit in our bedroom with the fan going pointed at me. I realize I will never adjust to life here in this house at all. That it sorely disappoints me and perhaps having some of the raging emotions at times signals my lack of sleep and distress sometimes. Definitely my little issues are but niggles compared to Paul’s. I think Sean will try to help him but Paul really needs to own his time and not be a victim. He should also rethink people he calls friends here that have abused him. Living alone here can be a blessing after one becomes used to just how the life flows. I could live three miles out of town and not feel challenged. Shopping use an app. I can walk and find my everything on a day. Paul doesn’t know those things.

It all takes time. Imagine leaving all you knew before and going to a new culture and country. Something not quite the same as changing states in America. This is like a reboot of life and thought sometimes. Mistakes can be made and when I walk or have a coffee I can see how someone innocently makes them in the guise of wanting something better.

For me, everything is walking. It has this depth of experience and lets me see the things now and then. Down Wat Bo Street next to the river. Over to a small coffee shop. Talking with Sean for hours. My one time a week to go socialize really. I always come back to what seems challenging for expats here. Those I have met seem insulated and have their own concepts of what they should be doing and with whom. I do too. A few I met I knew I could never want some kind of friendship with. I also know I need to have a few people in my life and that both people must want the same.

I end up walking on it all. No photos. No real remarkable conclusions. Now I'll just wait until we go to Phnom Penh. Time away to do something else. Its really not enough. But it will do until the rest of enough comes along.

Take care all.